Eat a dick, Steve Kelley

Let's see how hateful I'm feeling today. I'm actually in a good mood right now, so that probably needs to stop. Let's dive right in.


My treatment of Erik Bedard has been unfair



Last week, a few readers — well actually a lot of readers suggested, demanded really — that certain sportswriters, namely me, owed Mariners pitcher Erik Bedard an apology.

Great way to start an apology. "My readers made me do it." You know if the mouth breathers who read your stupid shit are pissed, you must have done something really dumb.

They're right.

You really owed him an apology over a year ago. He was hurt during the 2008 season as well and everyone called him a pussy, followed by him having off-season surgery. He came back too early and got hurt again. Pretty much the exact same story. But last off-season he was still a dick that was going to bolt town after his contract was up.

After all, we (and by we, I mean I) have spent a lot of the past two years lamenting the trade that sent a large chunk of the Mariners' future to Baltimore for a pitcher we (and, by we, I mean former general manager Bill Bavasi) expected to be the ace of the staff as the Mariners challenged for an American League West title.

Yes, all of that was clearly Erik Bedard's fault. Apology aside, piling on the player we received in a bad trade makes no fucking sense. And I'm too lazy to do this, but I'm willing to bet if you go back to January of 2008, there are Steve Kelley articles applauding the trade.

Oh wait, no I'm not

"Despite denials from Baltimore, the Mariners are this close to completing a deal with the Orioles that will send Jones and at least one other prospect to the Orioles for all-star pitcher Erik Bedard.

It is the right move to make at the right time in the franchise's growth."

If you put it that way, you sound like his biggest cheerleader.

Of course, that never happened.

Bedard rarely was healthy. He made only 30 starts in two seasons. He ran too many deep counts, which meant the bullpen usually had to get up by the fifth or sixth inning and he was as exciting to watch as your Uncle Bob on the putting green.

I will admit to being a fan of the trade at the time it was made. But as has been pointed out many times before, all this stuff was already part of the Erik Bedard package. He did all those things in Baltimore as well. The injuries have been worse the last couple years, but he's always gone deep into counts and left early in the game.

Not only that, but he might have been the most media-unfriendly Mariner since, I don't know, Phil Bradley?

It was as if he were allergic to reporters. He answered questions in a monotone, often snickered at the questions we asked and never let us see what was behind his icy eyes.

No one gives a flying fuck about this except reporters who ram it down our throats in an attempt to make us care. But please continue to extol all his perceived faults in your apology.

It was that way from his first spring-training start in 2008 in Scottsdale, when he got hit hard by the San Francisco Giants and dismissed every question he was asked.

Who cares? People who make a big deal out of Spring Training starts are stupid, especially if it's the first start of the year.

His personality (or lack of one) should have nothing to do with the way we covered him, but human nature being what it is, Bedard created an adversarial relationship which affected the way we (I) wrote about him.

No, it shouldn't. And quit with the fucking parentheses.

Of course, he never made it easy on himself. He asked out of his first homecoming start in Baltimore, because of an injury and he never gave the impression — on the mound, or in the clubhouse — that he had that Cliff Lee give-me-the-ball-and-I'll-throw-200-pitches-if-that's-what-it-takes mentality.

He was hurt, you fucking knob.

But once again, we see the stupid ass double standard applied to Seattle athletes. Raul Ibanez can be injured for an entire season, suck ass at the plate and in the field, hurt the team, and be called a fucking warrior. Ichiro can injure himself, play through it below his normal level but still better than most, and get raked over the coals.

You are still defending your impression like it was justified. And it wasn't. That is why you are apologizing.

He wasn't a gamer like CC Sabathia. He wasn't an Alpha Dog like Curt Schilling. He couldn't be counted on every fifth day from April to September. That was the impression.

He was hurt. And Curt Schilling is a fucking bitch, but it's weird that you should choose that example. Bedard might have asked out of a few starts, but he actually went out and pitched through pain and never bitched about it at all. And as frustrating as he was, he was still the 2nd best pitcher on the team. The only difference is that Curt Schilling did the same thing with blood on his sock in the ALCS.

Meanwhile, center fielder Adam Jones, surrendered in the trade, blossomed into an All-Star. And Chris Tillman, once the most treasured arm in the Mariners' farm system, found a place in the Orioles' rotation.

Clearly Bedard's fault and a reason to demonize him.

Last season, it always seemed as if Bedard was afraid to throw hard. His fastball was topping out in the 80s. His control was off.

As USSM showed, this is simply false.

Finally, on Independence Day, he was shut down, like a thoroughbred with a mysterious illness.

Turns out it was a torn labrum, an injury that used to mean your career was over. My bad!

There were those of us (me) who thought he was a malingerer. That he didn't have the heart to pitch in the heat of a pennant race. That he didn't much like the game.

And you're all a bunch of fucking dickbags.

"Erik Bedard didn't smile my direction when we were at the pre-game spread! No fucking heart! There's no way he's actually hurt!"

Now we know he was hurt. He was trying to pitch with a torn labrum, which is a little like a miler trying to run with a broken ankle.

Yeah, you're a complete asshole.

When I worked in Portland, I watched Trail Blazers center Bill Walton get unfairly excoriated by writers and front-office staff because he refused to play through injuries that were difficult to diagnose.

Nobody loved playing basketball more than Walton, and his subsequent surgeries proved just how much pain he felt every time he played. Walton was the definition of a "gamer," but he also was surly with reporters and was unfairly demonized during his last days in Portland.

In an unparallel way, the treatment of Bedard (my treatment of Bedard) also had been unfair.

Nice to see that you've still haven't learned your lesson. How are you employed?

Now, maybe all of us will get a second chance. Bedard, who will be 31 in a month and had surgery to repair his torn labrum, has re-signed with the Mariners. In a perfect world he could be ready to pitch around Memorial Day.

No, you have a second chance. Why the fuck are you already hedging your bets against him? No doubt the next time Bedard gets hurt, it will actually be because he's a giant pussy.

You and your colleagues very openly treated him like garbage during his first two years, but he decided to come back anyway. He doesn't seem to give a fuck what you think.

I don't expect him to come back as the clubhouse crackup, tossing one-liners like Jon Stewart. We'll leave that to Ken Griffey Jr.

Could have done this a year ago....

I expect Bedard still will be grouchy and difficult.

I can understand why this is a legitimate gripe for someone in the newspaper business. But it's really not appropriate when you're making an apology.

But are you fucking 7? No one reading your articles gives a shit about your personal problems dealing with professional athletes. You have a cool fucking job because you get to cover Spring Training every year. If I got to do that, I'd let Erik Bedard punch me in the gut and insult my family and beliefs every morning.

Sack up, you whiny bitch.

But we (I) should learn from the mistakes of the past two seasons and realize that Erik Bedard does want the ball.

And his reluctance to share his feelings with us shouldn't be misinterpreted as a lack of fire for the game.

Too bad you had to lead into this statement with all that other bullshit. If someone apologized to you like this is person, you'd probably want to kick them in the balls. Of course, it's not a real apology because it's being posted on the Times, so that makes it cool to be completely disingenuous.

Eat a dick, Steve Kelley. Eat a dick.